What Not to Wear: Bella Swan
by Sara811
Summary: Alice and Rosalie sign Bella up for the TV show What Not to Wear to cure her of her jeans and tees wardrobe. When everyone goes to New York, what could possibly go wrong?
1. Chapter 1 In which Alice has an epiphany

**A/N: So this is my first story so no flames please! I'm writing this for a contest proposed by Lishwish. You can still enter so check it out. It is a challenge for the "dumb, cliché and ridiculous" so any super cliché/just dumb un-plausible stuff is probably on purpose.**

**Disclaimer: To my dismay I do not own Twilight nor do I own the TV show What Not to Wear. Though I wish I did because then I would have Stacy design my entire wardrobe. (For those of you who have never watched the show, no worries! It's explained later. It is on TLC if you want to watch it. )**

**Chapter 1**

Alice POV:

I unloaded my 173 bags from the back of my Porsche. It is a good thing that I could foresee if I would get into an accident because the bags were plied so high I could barely see out the back window. It was nearly 11 o'clock and I was just getting back from Seattle. There is an amazing new mall there and I was at it all day. I got 5 new outfits for Bella but I already saw that she wouldn't wear them. There has to be something that I can do to get Bella to wear clothing items besides just jeans and tees!

Rosalie was sitting on the living room couch and was watching something on TV. She turned around and asked me how shopping was.

"It was great! You really need to go to this mall with me sometime. It would have been so much fun if you had come with!" I dug around in one of the numerous bags on my arms and pulled out a shirt. "Here I got you a shirt."

"Thanks Alice! It's really cute!"

"I knew you would like it. What'cha watching?" I asked as I sat down next to her on the couch.

"This show called What Not to wear." Rose explained. "People nominate their friends and family who dress like crap and then the hosts basically throw away all their ugly clothes, tell them how they should dress, and give them 5,000 to spend on a new wardrobe. Then the people get their hair cut and get make-up advice."

My eyes must have glazed over because Rosalie waved her hand in front of my face and asked,

"Alice, Alice, did you hear what I just said?"

"Oh my gosh! I just had a vision!" I exclaimed.

"Of what? Please don't tell me you saw me on that show!" Rosalie said with a note of panic in her voice.

"No Rose, calm down. I didn't see you. I saw Bella on that show!" I squealed. I knew there had to be a way to get Bella out of jeans and tees!

I rushed over to the computer and went to What Not to Wear's website. Rose stood behind me and looked over my shoulder. I clicked on the link that said, 'How to enter someone for the show' It said to fill out the form and send a video of yourself explaining why your friend or family member should be on the show. I quickly hit print and went to look for a video camera.

Luckily Carlisle was working the night shift this week, Esme was visiting Tanya's coven in Alaska, and the boys were on a hunting trip. I saw that if Edward knew ahead of time he wouldn't let me do it so Rose and I had to be quick.

We spent an hour setting up everything and agreeing on what to say. Then we got into my Porsche and I drove to a block away from Bella's house. Bella's window was wide open like she was waiting for Edward to come even though she knew he was hunting. It just made mine and Rosalie's job easier.

I opened Bella's closet and pulled out some of the shirts she wore the most often. Rose silently opened her dresser and took out a few pairs of Bella's jeans. Everything would be back in the morning so it didn't matter what we took.

When we got back, Rose and I made the final agreements on what to say. Then at last I turned on the video camera and we started filming.

"Hi Stacy!" I said, knowing that the chances she and Clinton actually watched the entry videos were slim to none.

"Hi Clinton!" Rosalie said next.

"Our friend and soon to be sister-in-law, Bella is in desperate need of your help." I continued. I turned around and held up the first outfit that Rose and I had out together. "This is about what she wears on a daily basis. Just jeans and a tee-shirt! It's boring, boring, boring!"

"Bella refuses to spend money on herself and doesn't let anyone spend money on her." Rose added. "She has a major inferiority complex and we think that she doesn't feel worthy enough to wear nice clothes. She is always denying her beauty when she is really quite a pretty girl."

I was quite shocked to hear that come from Rosalie's mouth. She rarely admitted that anyone besides herself could be look better than 'Average'. I think she could be starting to care about Bella and beginning to think of her as a sister.

"Bella is on a date with our brother Edward, her fiancée," We lied. It would sound a little weird to say that we had broken into her house and stole her clothes while she was asleep. "So we raided her closet."

I picked up the video camera from its stand and walked over to the dining room where Rose and I had laid some of Bella's clothes out on the table. Rose stood by the table and looked like one of the models on game shows who display the prizes only Rose was 10 times better looking.

"As you can see, All of Bella's usual attire is remarkably similar." Rose walked over to the far end of the table motioning to the array of blue jeans and short sleeve tee-shirts as she went. Then she held up the outfit on the farthest end of the table.

"This is the only skirt Bella owns. She usually wears it with the same button up shirt which makes it incredibly plain and boring. The rest of the time, it's jeans and tees."

Rose and I walked back to the living room. I put the camera back on its stand and went to sit next to Rose.

"So that concludes are explanation on why Bella needs a makeover." I said. "I've tried more times than I can count to give her a makeover so I hope you have better luck than I did!"

"Bye!" Rose and I said together. Then I hopped up and turned off the video camera.

Rosalie cleaned up and I ran Bella's clothes back to her house. Then Rosalie and I spent the rest of the night making a DVD complete with rolling credits. Sometimes not needing sleep is a very useful thing!

**A/N: Please, Please, Please review! I promise there will be more action (and Edward) later! **


	2. Chapter 2 in which Edward finds out and

**A/N: Here it is the second chapter! Sorry for the wait. I had writer's block and I was just flat out procrastinating. While I was trying to write this chapter more often than not I was writing out funny scenes that I thought of for other chapters. This chapter is really long (2,500 words) so enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I much as I wish I did, I do not own Twilight or the show What Not to Wear. So there, now you can't sue me!**

**Chapter 2:**

In which Edward finds out and Bella freaks out.

**Alice POV**

"Now remember Rose, NO thinking about entering Bella! If Edward finds out he will KILL us! And, he won't let Bella be on the show. By the way, I'll be getting a call a week and a half from now at exactly 11:54 AM telling me that they picked Bella for the show. Until then, not a word or a thought about it!" I warned Rosalie.

"Wow! Isn't that kind of quick? I thought they chose participants for shows like that months in advance." Rosalie asked sounding a little confused.

I thought for a moment then I remembered the tight-fitting cleavage-revealing shirt and micro-skirt that Rosalie was wearing last night.

"Somehow I think your outfit helped Rose." I said with a smirk. Rosalie thought for a second than it came to her and she let out a small giggle.

"In my vision the entire male population of where they review the entry videos was watching it. Which reminds me, you have a new stalker." Rosalie groaned. "He's this creepy old guy. He stole our address and phone number off the form we sent in."

"Great! That's the last thing I need! ANOTHER stalker!" Rosalie exclaimed.

"Remember that one from '86?" I asked.

"Ugh! All to well. We had to move because of him! I rather liked Maine."

I laughed. Then I asked,

"So what do you think he is doing now?"

"Probably sitting drunk and homeless on the side of the street still looking for you."

We both laughed and spent more than an hour reminiscing aboutall of Rosalie's stalkers. Then we heard a car pull into the drive way and a few seconds later Carlisle was walking through the door.

"Hey Carlisle!" Rose and I said together.

"Good Morning!" Carlisle replied as brightly as if he hadn't been working all night and hadn't slept for more than 400 years. But hey, being a vampire has its perks.

Not thinking about entering Bella made the week and a half fly by. The day that I had foreseen the person calling me to tell me that they had chosen Bella, I had to resort to reciting the Gettysburg Address backwards in Russian to keep myself from thinking about it. Edward noticed and began to grow suspicious of me. Around 11 o'clock I began to grow so jittery that I had to go run around the house a thousand times at vampire speed, which took only a few minutes, to calm myself down. I spent 15 minutes anxiously hovering around the phone. At this point Edward had definitely figured out that something was up. At last the phone rang at 11:54 on the dot. I picked it up almost before it rang. The person on the other line seemed startled that I had picked up the phone so quickly and stuttered a little bit when he asked,

"Uh, is this, um, Ms. Alice Cullen?"

"Yes."

"I'm calling to inform you that we have chosen Ms. Bella Swan, who you nominated, to be on the next show of What Not to Wear."

I had to pretend like I didn't know so I let out a sequel and shrilled,

"Oh my gosh! Are you serious? I can't believe it!"

"Well someone will be contacting you tomorrow to discuss arrangements with you." He said unenthusiastically. That poor guy has probably had to listen to thousands of people with similar reactions.

"Okay, that sounds great!"

"Okay then, goodbye."

"Bye, Bye!"

Then I hung up. I turned around and found a very irate Edward glaring back at me.

"You did WHAT?!"He bellowed at me. I should have seen this coming!

"I signed Bella up for a TV show." I answered meekly. Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

"I can't believe you did that!" he shouted. He was a little calmer now but somehow I think Jasper had a hand in that. "She will end up getting hurt for sure!"

I quickly looked at Bella's possible futures and certainly enough, she ended up hurt in almost all of then.

"True, but she only ends up dead in 2 scenarios and brain dead in 5. By her standards the odds are really stacked in her favor."

"If she goes I go!" Edward retorted.

"Hmmm…" I looked again at Bella's futures again. Now that Edward had made up his mind a whole new set of futures existed. "Well that eliminates the death possibility and lowers the number of brain dead scenarios to 3."

"Then it's final, I'm going to New York City with Bella."

Emmett chose this moment to make his grand entrance,

"Why do Bella and Edward get to go to New York City? If they go then I want to go!" Emmett said in his most annoying and whiny voice.

"Because Alice here signed Bella up for a TV show without Bella's or my permission." Edward said bitterly.

"_Gosh"_ I thought. _"Somebody is a little bit overprotective"_

"I heard that Alice." Edward growled menacingly. He was shooting death glares my way. I laughed nervously.

"Well anyways, Bella's not _suppose_ to know! That's the whole point of the show. If we had told you then you wouldn't have let us do it and you would have told Bella. Which by the way, if you tell Bella, I will personally smash every CD in your collection."

"We? Us?" Edward asked with his eyebrows raised.

"Rosalie was in on it too." I confessed. Rosalie, who was in the room now, grinned evilly at Edward.

"Bella's going to be on TV?" Emmett blurted out. "What show did you sign her up for?"

"This show called What Not to Wear. People nominate their friends/family members who dress badly to get a makeover and a new wardrobe on this show."

"Common' Eddie! You've got to admit Bella _does _dress kind of boringly." I said. "You _know_ it's true."

"Well I guess she can go but only if I go with." Edward said defeated.

I ran up to Edward and gave him a tight hug.

"Thank you, Thank you, Thank you Edward! You'll like the outcome, I promise! You just have to promise me that you won't tell Bella!

"Only if you promise to never ever call me 'Eddie' again"

"Promise!"

"What's this talk about going to New York City?" Carlisle asked. He, Esme, and Jasper had joined us.

"Bella's going to be on a TV show and Edward and I are going to come with to protect Bella."

"You know, we haven't taken a whole family vacation in a long time. Why don't we all go?" Esme suggested.

"That's a great idea!" agreed Carlisle. "Esme and I will go."

"I'm definitely going!" I practically shouted. "New York City has great shopping!"

"Well I guess I have to go, seeing as Alice is going." Jasper grumbled. "If I said no, she would just force me to go anyways."

I smiled at my husband. He was absolutely correct. There was no way he was missing this! I was getting flashes of the future and it looked like this trip was going to be very, _interesting_.

* * *

The next day I got the call from the executives at What Not to Wear. They were going to send a camera crew to film Bella's two weeks of secrete footage. The following week they were going to start filming the show. All we had to do was refrain from telling Bella and get her to the movie theater 3 Sundays from now. The two weeks that they were filming Bella's secrete footage flew by. We had booked our tickets as soon as we new what day Bella was leaving. We booked a flight from a different airport using a different route than Bella because we didn't think Bella would like to know that all of us were coming. Edward was planning on telling Bella that he was coming along secretly to protect her. We didn't want Bella to freak out.

Finally we took Bella to the movie theatre. As we were leaving Stacy and Clinton, along with a camera crew, jumped out from behind a pillar and yelled,

"Surprise!" they said together.

"I'm Stacy"

"And I'm Clinton"

"And we're from TLC's, What Not to Wear!"

"Bella you have been nominated for What Not to Wear by your friend Alice." The small group of onlookers that had formed when people saw the cameras applauded. Bella's eyes grew large and panicked as they were introducing them selves and then in a Bella-esque fashion, she fainted.

"Well this is a first, we've never had anyone faint before." said Clinton. "Does anyone have a bucket of cold water? That always works in the movies."

"Don't worry; she'll come to within a minute." I said. "This happens quite often, Bella's a little emotional." Well that was partly true, but mostly I knew when she would come to because I had seen it in my vision. Surely enough Bella awoke exactly on schedule.

"Alice!" she shouted. She looked so fierce that I backed away, even though I knew she couldn't hurt me in the least way until she was a vampire.

**Bella's POV:**

I couldn't believe it! Alice had signed me up to be on NATIONAL TELEVISION! It was every major klutz absolute nightmare, to have every trip an accident recorded, than broadcasted for the entire COUNTRY to see! I would kill Alice for this!

"Mary Alice Brandon Cullen! I swear that the second I am a vampire you will be nothing but tiny little pieces in a fire!" I whispered so that they microphones wouldn't pick up any thing but anyone with vampire hearing would. All of the Cullens looked slightly taken aback. I guess they didn't know I could be so mean.

I looked at Edward and asked,

"Did you know about this?"

"Yes love, but by the time I knew there was nothing I could have done about it."

"I'm sure there was _nothing_ that you could do to stop this!" I said with my voice dripping in sarcasm. "You could have, I don't know, told them I died or that there was a freak snow storm in Forks and no one could get out of their houses. You could have at least told me so that I wouldn't faint. Now the entire COUNTRY is going to see every trip and fall I make for almost a week! And, if anything I've seen on the show before is true, Stacy is going to make me wear _heels_!"

"Sorry love, I tried to talk Alice out of it but she threatened me with the destruction of my CD collection."

"Oh so now your CD's are more important than _me_!"

"Of _course_ not Bella what would give you a silly idea like that?"

I was about to spurt out a witty comeback when a camera guy tapped me on the shoulder and said,

"Uh ma'am, if you're recovered now, we would like to continue filming."

"Okay." I answered. I sent death glares in Edward's direction as I walked back to the cameras.

"Welcome back Bella! I see you've recovered." Clinton. I blushed furiously at that comment.

"Now we have a 5,000 Visa card with your name on it, but you have to agree to fallow all our rules." Stacey said as she waved a thin piece of plastic in the air. I sighed and said,

"Well I might as well, Alice will never forgive me if I don't and I'm marrying into her family so it's not like I can get rid of her, yet." I added in an undertone implying that once I was a vampire Alice better watch out. All the Cullens heard of course, and I saw Emmett hiding a smile and Alice looking aghast out of the corner of my eye.

"It's decided then. Now if everyone will come with us, we're going to watch Bella's secrete footage. I groaned, there were probably a thousand videos that they had of me falling _already_! I remembered that camera guy that had asked me about how I would describe my style last week. I thought it had seemed a little weird that they were doing something like that in Forks. But the camera guy was kind of young so just thought it was a college kid doing some sort of research project. Stupid me! They had probably sent that camera guy to interrogate me!

Everyone filed into the empty movie theatre. Great, me falling, on a huge movie screen. Everyone sat down in the front row. I was between Stacy and Clinton in the very middle. The Cullens were on either side. I wished that I could be sitting next to Edward even though I was mad at him for not telling me.

Stacy pointed a remote at the screen and hit the play button. The first clip was of me walking out of the grocery store wearing grey sweats and a blue t-shirt. Stacy paused it,

"Bella, what were you thinking? Sweats are a big no, no anywhere except in the privacy of your house!" Stacy exclaimed.

I think my face was about the shade of a very ripe tomato when I answered,

"Ummm, I didn't feel like getting dressed. It was early."

"Still not acceptable."

She started the tape again; it showed me walking out of my house wearing a plain t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans. She continued talking why the tape was still rolling.

"Let's talk about this. These plain outfits are doing nothing for your figure."

"And you've got a great figure Bella." added Clinton.

"You really need to change it up a bit. Like put on a nice fitted jacket and it will make your outfit so different." Stacy suggested.

The video came to Alice and Rosalie sitting on the couch in the Cullen's living room. Alice was talking about how boring my wardrobe was and I wasn't paying any attention at all. When Rosalie started to speak her words caught my attention. Did she just say that I am denying my beauty (which is non-existent) and that I'm pretty! I couldn't believe that _Rosalie_ of all people would say that I am pretty! I could hardly grasp why Edward thought I was beautiful! Now Rosalie too! My head was still spinning and I didn't realize that Stacy had stopped the video again until she started talking.

"Bella, everybody has the right to look good! It will make you feel so much better about yourself if you dress better. Spend some money on yourself sometime!"

I was still awestruck by what Rosalie had said so I just nodded my head.

"I think that's enough of the secrete footage. You definitely need some help." Clinton said.

"We'll see you in New York!"


	3. Chapter 3 In which bella's clothes are

**A/N: Sorry! I said that I would update Sunday but I couldn't! My mom was on the computer and I couldn't find time to type up this chapter. But I have successfully commandeered the computer so here it is, Chapter 3!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight and What Not to Wear, why would I bother writing a fan fiction about them?**

**Chapter 3**

**Bella POV:**

I was still in shock hours later. Alice had signed me up for national television! I am so going to get back at her for this!

One of the camera men had given me two gigantic suitcases and told me to pack all my clothes in them. Sadly, all of my clothes only filled one of the suitcases three-fourths of the way. I guess they were use to people with lots of clothes. I had just finishing packing a bag with some toiletries into a bag when Edward dropped through my window.

"Love you must be going to bed soon. You need to be up at 4AM tomorrow." He said Charlie is driving you to the airport."

"But I want _you_ to drive me to the airport."

"Can't Love, My flight leaves an hour earlier than yours and I have to drive to San Francisco."

"What! Where are you going? And why do you have to leave from San Francisco?"

"I'm going to New York City too, but since I'm not supposed to be, I'm flying out from San Francisco."

"But why?"

"To protect you of course!" Edward nearly shouted. "New York City is _crawling _with vampires. Knowing your track record, you would probably be dead within an hour after you got there! Not to mention Alice saw you tripping and falling a grand total of 1,874 times and I need to be there in case anything serious was to happen."

I sighed; Edward is so over protective sometimes, well actually, all the time. But the more I thought about it the more sense it made. I probably would get hurt, whether it is from my clumsy-ness, a vampire or from getting mugged by some creep. And I wasn't totally against Edward coming along. It would be nice to spend some time with him with out Charlie breathing down our necks or having the rest of the Cullen's eavesdropping on us.

"Now love, as it seems that you are not going to object my going along, you need to go to bed."

"Fine, but only if you promise to sing my lullaby for me."

"Of course Love."

My eyes slowly dropped as Edward sang the first few notes of my lullaby and before I knew it I was fast asleep.

I awoke the next morning to a shrieking alarm clock. Edward must have reset it for me because it was 4 o'clock in the morning and no sane person sets their alarm that early. I sleepily got dressed and then lugged my suitcase down the stairs. That must have woke Charlie because he came downstairs looking very bleary eyed and wearing a bathrobe over his pajamas.

"Morning Bells." He yawned

"Good Morning Dad." I answered brightly which was unusual for me, given how early it was.

It took us about another half an hour to eat breakfast. Then we loaded the car and set of to the airport. I was flying out of Seattle's airport on a non-stop flight to New York. It was a 6 and a half hour flight but I was armed with a Sudoku book so let the boredom try to get to me!

**Edward POV:**

Alice and Emmett were so excited about going that we were at the airport 4 hours ahead of time. We then had to sit around for 4 hours at an airport. Alice and Rosalie were shopping at the airport stores, Emmett and Jasper were playing rock, paper, scissors, Esme and Carlisle were waiting peacefully, and I was bored out of my mind. There were so many thoughts at the airport that it was hard to block them all out. Random thoughts kept slipping through my barriers.

"_Oh my god! My flight leaves in 10 minutes and I'm on the wrong side of the airport!!"_

"_Hmmm… Blueberry muffin or lemon poppy seed?"_

"_The plane will not crash, the plane will not crash, the plane will – screw this - WERE ALL GONNA DIE!"_

I got out my MP3 player and turned on the music. It did supply some relief from the constant noise of people's thoughts. Only 53 more minutes, 52… I kept telling myself.

"_If this flight is delayed one more second, I am suing this airline!"_

Our flight could not leave soon enough. Finally the call for everyone to start boarding the plane has announced and I was the first one in line. I hope no one had noticed me because I went a little faster than humanely possible.

I sat down in my seat and closed my eyes. Only 7 hours till I see Bella again. Her being on her own made me so worried it was no wonder Jasper switched seats with Carlisle so he wouldn't be sitting right next to me.

**Bella's POV:**

When I arrived in New York there was a limo waiting out front for me. It was very, very, very nice. I wondered if the Cullen's had a limo. I thought about it on the ride to my hotel and came to the conclusion that the Cullen's probably owned several limos, all of which could reach speeds over 150 miles per hour. If they didn't have one, which was unlikely, I was definitely getting one.

I reached my hotel almost an hour later and seeing the limo, the bellboys jumped to attention and unloaded my bags so quickly they could have been mistaken for vampires. I was staying at the Embassy Suites. The outside of the building was all glass and was very modern and chic. I was definitely going to like it here. I checked in at the lobby and they gave me my room keys. I was all the way on the 53rd floor. I walked over to the elevator and pressed number 53. When I got out of the elevator I was astounded, there was only one double door on the right side of the hallway and regular doors on the left. Figuring that it was just a banquet hall or a boardroom I didn't even take notice of it as I walked down the hallway. 5314, 5315, 5316 the next one should be room but the next number was 2618. I turned around and there were the large double doors and my room number and a large plaque denoting it to be the Presidential Suite. I was flabbergasted. I was absolutely sure that your average person on What Not to Wear did not get to stay in the Presidential Suite. I wondered who Edward had bribed and how much money he had them bribed with. I unlocked the room and walked inside in a daze. The first room I walked into was a large and very comfortable looking living room. Of to the right there was a large dining room. There were also two hall ways, one leading to the left and one directly in front of me.

I walked slowly down the hall way to the left and opened the door to find a humongous room with a king size bed in the middle of it. There was another door in this room. Behind it was a bathroom bigger than my _bedroom_ in Forks. I raced back down the hallway and then up the other one now eager to see what was at the end of it. I opened the door and there was _another_ bedroom even larger than the first. This bedroom also had a door which is assumed lead to another bathroom, a walk-in closet, and a balcony that provided an amazing view of the city. I plopped down onto the bed and almost instantly fell asleep. It was the most comfortably thing I had ever laid on. Then I remembered that someone had to have paid for this, namely Edward. Grrr…He already spent more than enough on me. This was completely unnecessary. I did not need TWO king size beds. What was he thinking! I was just about to call him and yell at him when there was a knock at my door. I ran to go open it tripping several times on my way. When I opened the door it was a camera man.

"Ms. Swan if you're ready, your limo is waiting for you downstairs. We are going to film the first part of the show tonight so you need to take your suit case with you."

"Okay!" I turned around to pick up my suitcase from where I had dumped it when I went to explore my suite.

"Ms. Swan you don't need to carry that. I'll take care of it for you"

"Um, thank you?" I said unsure of myself. Something told me that the camera guy didn't do this for everyone.

We all walked over to the elevator and there was already an open one waiting for us. Another camera man pushed the button with a large 'L' for lobby and we were off.

* * *

25 minutes later the limo pulled up in front of the studio. I got out and was greeted by a doorman that told me to go the 3rd floor. Everyone here was treating me like royalty. I wondered if Edward had bribed them all or if they were just doing their job.

On the short elevator ride I was mentally preparing myself for the onslaught of criticism that I knew was coming. A very business-like woman told me to leave my suit case by the racks and someone would hang them up for me. Meanwhile, I was to go to hair and make up. A frizzy haired woman quickly put a thick layer of make up on my face. She said it would keep me from looking washed out. I was then told to put on an outfit I would wear on a daily basis. I did and they said to go in the 360 mirror and describe what I was wearing. Being inside the 360 mirror was very unnerving. I was surrounded my 12 of my selves. I was surprised Alice didn't have one of these.

"Ummm, so this is just what I wear on a normal day." I said nervously. "It's just jeans and a tee."

Stacy and Clinton opened the door and said,

"And that's the problem. You have a great figure but these clothes just hang on you and don't show it off." Stacy said. "Also you're wearing a light wash jean that will make you look like a 14 year old."

"Now if you come with us we'll show you what you _should_ be wearing" Clinton said. They dragged me over to the mannequins that had outfits on them.

"Here a great fitted jacket will really provide shape to your figure." Stacy recommended.

"And you should find shirts with some visual interest like the lace detailing on this shirt or beading." Clinton said next. I guess that what they were saying _did_ make sense.

"A dark jean and a pair of heels will really lengthen your legs too and make you seem older." Stacy added. I _knew_ that she would want me to wear heels. "So how do you like this outfit."

"I really like it, but I have a problem with the heels. I'm quite clumsy and heels are not an option."

"A really low heel is still very cute and still easy to walk in." I sighed. I guess that I would have to try a pair on and when I fell they would believe me. I didn't feel like fighting with them.

"Now go put on another outfit." Clinton said.

I was told to put on an outfit that I would wear to go out on a date or something like that and then go back into the 360 mirror.

"So this is what I would wear if I went out on a date." I said. Stacy and Clinton walked back in.

"I don't notice any difference from your everyday clothes except that you're wearing a skirt." Clinton said sarcastically. He was right.

"And again these clothes are not working for your body type. You have all the right curves in all the right places and you should show them off!" Stacy said. I blushed bright red at her comment. "Now come with us and we'll show something better to wear on a date."

They had the most beautiful dress. It was midnight blue, knee-length and had beading along the neckline and the bottom of the skirt. The fabric was shimmery and caught the light.

"Now this is more suitable for a date."

"It's beautiful!" I gushed.

"And the silver clutch and heels really bring the outfit together."Clinton added. I rolled my eyes, heels again.

"So lets go over your rules for shopping" Stacy announced. "Number one, look for two or three fitted jackets that will make your look more visually interesting."

"Number two look for darker wash jeans that will make you look older."

"Number three; get shirts with decorative beading or embroidery."

"And finally get some nicer clothes for dates and going out that are different from your everyday clothes." Clinton concluded.

"Cut!" yelled one of the camera men.

"Okay Bella, now we are going to film the part when we do through your wardrobe." Said the same business-like woman. She must have been in charge of things because she had a clipboard and was directing other people around.

"Um, okay."

"So just stand right here."

The camera man that had helped me with my bag, I think his name was Bill, shouted,

"Cameras rolling in 3…" he held up two fingers, then on, and then pointed at us. I guessed that was our cue.

Stacy started,

"Bella, I think you might very well have the least amount of clothes that anyone has ever had on this show." I probably did, all of my clothes barely filled one rack.

"Well I guess that just makes are job all the easier."

"Lets see, t-shirt, t-shirt, t-shirt, t-shirt, t shirt, ooo-a sweater, t-shirt, t-shirt, Bella you have a chronic case of t-shirt over load." Stacy remarked. I _did_ have a lot of t-shirts. "And just jeans too. Oh wait Clinton I think I see a pair of dress pants hiding back there."

"Really Bella, there's nothing _wrong_ with what your wearing, it's just that your are always wearing the same thing." Clinton remarked. He took all of my clothes and through them into the large metal trash bin. "So let's just start over."

The same camera man yelled 'cut' again. So I assumed we were done. Stacy called me over and handed me a piece of paper with a very long list on it.

"Bella, these are the stores that we think you should try tomorrow."

"Okay, thanks!"

"Ma'am, your limo is waiting outside." Bill said to me.

"I guess I should be going now."I said to Stacy.

"Get a good nights sleep, you won't regret it. Shopping all day is killer." She said.

"Thanks!" I answered. I walked back over to the elevator and went back down to the lobby. I walked out to my limo and slid in. I breathed a sigh of relief. It felt good to be out of the studio. 25 minutes later I was back at the hotel and in my room. Which was too big and cost way too much, but incredible. I laid down on the bed and was almost fast asleep when I heard the sliding door to the balcony open. I knew it must be Edward so I quickly sat up. It was him and I ran over to him and gave him a tight hug.

"Oh Edward! I'm so glad you're here." I said.

"Yeah I had to endure 6 and a half hours on a plane with Alice, you should be glad." He answered **(A/N: I know Edward isn't usually sarcastic but he is a little irritated by Alice and by all the peoples thoughts that he had to endure on the plane and at the airports)** I was taken aback by his unusually snippy and sarcastic tone of voice. Alice must had really annoyed him, wait, Alice?!

"What was Alice doing on the plane?" I asked.

"Well when I decided to go with you, Emmett got really jealous and wanted to go and then Carlisle suggested that we all go" I groaned.

"So _everyone_ is in New York?"

"Sorry Love."

**A/N: I'm thinking about making a sequel to this where Bella gets back at Alice by signing her up for a TV show. So tell me what you think and any suggestions on reality TV shows that Bella could sign Alice up for. I have a few in mind but I just want to see if anyone had a better idea than me.**


	4. Chapter 4In which Emmett discovers spin

**A/N: Woohoo! I'm updating for the second day in a row! This chapter is mostly about Emmett, in NYC, with Jasper, without supervision. Nuff said.**

**Disclaimer: Why do I bother writing one of these? I don't own twilight or What not to Wear, nor will I ever. sigh**

**Chapter 3**

**In which Emmett discovers spinning teacups and the Empire State Building.**

**Bella POV:**

The hotel alarm went off at 7:30 AM. I rolled out of bed and turned it off. I quickly showered and got dressed. I called room service (only because Edward told me too) and ordered breakfast. When it got to my room, I didn't regret ordering it, it was delicious! Just as I was finishing, there was a knock at my door. I ran to open it. It was the same camera crew as the night before, but with one addition. A creepy old guy who was mostly bald and looked slightly deranged.

When we were in the elevator on the way down to the lobby, I asked Bill about the new guy.

"Oh, that's Crazy Frank." He said. "Usually he works in video review, but for some reason he volunteered to be on a camera crew for this episode. Nobody can figure out why. He keeps muttering something about hot blondes."

I assumed it was Rosalie. Edward had told me that she had been in cohorts with Alice. I would have to think of a suiting punishment for her too.

I slid back into the limo and I told the driver the address of the first store that was on the list that Stacy had given to me. It was some boutique with an unpronounceable French name. It sounded like somewhere Alice would shop, thus it was probably expensive.

When we got there, I discovered that I was right. ONE shirt cost 124! **(Sorry, I have no tolerance for overpriced clothes when there are perfectly good ones at lower end stores)** It was definitely some where that I wouldn't normally shop at. I flipped through a rack of overpriced, flimsy clothes. I came across some shirts with lace and beading decorating the neck line. I had been told to try shirts with more decorations so I took a few and tried them on. I guess Stacy and Clinton _did_ know what they where talking about. I looked so pretty in the tops that I tried on. I choose two of my favorites and bought them. My total came to 247.69 and this was the first store! Then I remembered that Alice and Rosalie shopped like this _all_ the time. I would definitely have to get over my sticker shock!

I looked at the list; the next store was a shoe store. Let the fun begin! It was just down the street so I walked. I savored each step in case I became paralyzed from a fall when I tried to walk in heels.

I nervously walked into the shoe store. It was very up scale. I scanned the displays of shoes. I spotted a pair with a very tiny heel. It was only about and inch and a half high so I figured that I might be safe with that. Just then an employee tapped me on the shoulder. It startled me and I, of course, fell down. The employee helped me up.

"Are you alright ma'am?" she asked.

"Yes, just incurably clumsy." The employee laughed.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah, can I get this shoe in a 7 and a half?"

"Sure, I'll be right back."

I sat down on a chair and waited. The girl was back surprisingly quick.

"Here you go"

I tried them on and unfortunately they fit. I stood up cautiously. So far so good. I nervously took a few steps forward. Miraculously, I didn't fall. I wanted to jump up and down with joy but refrained because of the death traps on my feet.

I picked out another pair that where slightly higher, about 2 inches. Again I had surprising success in walking. Maybe heels weren't so bad after all. With the next pair, I was a little more adventurous. They were 3 and a half inches high. I cautiously took one step forward, then another, then my ankle rolled and CRASH! I was on the floor.

"Ugh, I think I sprained my ankle!" I could almost hear Edward growling from inside the store. He was, of course, following me today but we agreed that he wasn't to reveal himself unless absolutely necessary.

"Can you walk?" the employee asked me.

I gingerly stood up with her help and put weight on my foot and winced. Sprained ankles hurt!

"I think so." I had much worse injuries by far. This was nothing. I thought of it as endurance training for my change. Edward would be mad at me but I could bear the pain.

"I think I'll just get the _first_ two pairs" I groaned. I was in for a long day.

The next store I went at was a larger department store. And who was there? None other than Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper.

"Bella!" Alice and Rosalie squealed. I guess they were going to pretend that the just "ran into me" but I knew better. We talked for a little and they "pretended" that they were my "friends" from "New York". I was fuming, first a sprained ankle, now this?

All the while Crazy Frank was drooling profusely in Rose's direction. Once I left and continued shopping Frank stayed behind. The rest of the camera crew seemed to be glad to be rid of him so we left without a second thought.

**Rosalie's POV**

When we "ran into" Bella, I officially met my stalker, Crazy Frank. He just followed us around like a dog and was dripping drool all over the place. I decided that I needed a bigger wedding ring so that people would get the message that I was _already_ married. Emmett was also being a pest and not improving my mood. Finally I burst.

"Emmett just leave me alone! Here!" I shoved a wad of money in his hand. "Go amuse yourself! I'm sure you can find something to do in a city this big! I have a stalker to get rid of and I don't need your help!"

**Emmett's POV**

I shrugged and walked to the subway station. Rosalie is always in a bad mood when she is being stalked. I studied the map of the city trying to find somewhere to go. The Coney Island train was leaving in five minutes so I decided to hop on that one.

15 minutes later, the train arrived at Coney Island. There were flashing lights and little kids with balloons all over the place. The smell of greasy fried food wafted through the air. I had to hold my breath the smell was so overwhelming I had to hold my breath. The smell of cotton candy had stuck out in the midst of all the other smells. I had loved cotton candy when I was a human and was seriously contemplating buying a stick just so I could smell it when I saw them,

THE GIANT SPINNING TEACUPS!!

I eagerly found the first ticket booth I could and bought 25 tickets. Then I waited in line for 10 minutes to get on the giant teacups. Most of the kids in line were 6 and under so I looked really out of place, but I don't care, I was going to get to sit in a giant spinning teacup!

Finally I got to the front of the line where a pimply, greasy teenaged boy was collecting tickets and looking quite bored. He held out a hand as if that could stop me from going on the ride if I wanted to and said,

"Uh, sir, I think your just a little to big to go on this ride."

I grabbed the kid that was behind me and pulled him to my side,

"But this is my little brother! I have to go on with him, he gets scared!" I pleaded.

The kid was probably 8 years old and was squirming. When he escaped my grip he said,

"Who the hell are YOU? You're not my brother! I don't even have a brother! And I'm NOT afraid of teacups! Ugh!"

The boy left dragging what seemed to be his little sister with him. As he walked away he muttered something that sounded distinctly like "freak".

The ticket taker sighed and motioned me in,

"I don't feel like dealing with another crazy today. You can go on."

I hopped up and down like a little kid and ran to the nearest teacup.

I spun the teacup around as fast as I could without using my vampire strength or speed. I probably could have got the thing spinning at a good 300 mph if I had free rein. I would so have to get one of these! I went on the ride 15 times and then I gave my extra tickets to a little girl in line for the Ferris wheel. I went back to the train station and looked at the map again. Where to next? What was something that I always wanted to do in New York? Then it hit me, King Kong reenactment.

I rode the train back to the shopping district of New York set in finding Jasper. I needed a partner in crime. I called Jasper and on the second ring he picked up.

"Jazz, where are you? I've come to save you from the wrath of Alice."

"Jasper!" said the annoying pixie voice that is my sister Alice."I saw Emmett calling 10 minutes ago. Put the phone on speaker."

Jasper sighed and did as the pixie commanded.

"Now Emmett, I will tell you where we are and let you take Jasper on two conditions. One, the city had to remain standing and you two have to be back by 9 PM, NO EXCEPTIONS!"

"Damn! I hate when you answer my questions before I ask them. It's so annoying."

"By the way Emmett, if you manage not to blow the city up, I'll buy you your spinning teacups for Christmas." She bribed. "But you have an 85 of doing so, so if you don't I will be utterly surprised."

"I'll try my best Alice!" I declared as I saluted her mockingly, "Common Jazzy, lets go!"

I dot death glares for calling Jasper "Jazzy" but I didn't care. We are going to have so much fun!

Jasper and I got on a train and headed towards the Empire State Building. The train ride was quite lengthy so to pass the time Jasper and I messed with the emotions of the other people on the train. For instance, Jasper would make everyone feel really anxious, afraid, nervous and panicked. While he was doing that I would spurt out random made-up facts like,

"Did you know 30,000 people die in train wrecks each year?"

Or,

"47 of trains have a mechanical failure that could cause them to crash."

It was so funny to watch everyone start rocking back in forth in the fetal position and jump 10 feet every time the train hit a bump. One guy started running up and down the aisles yelling,

"THE WORLD IS COMINIG TO AN END! THE TRAIN IS GOING TO CRASH AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!"

Then Jasper quickly changed it up on them and made everyone feel super hyper. Everyone started to get all jittery and couldn't sit still. On lady must have already have had a LOT of caffeine because she got up and started acting like a chicken.

We were having so much fun messing with peoples emotions that we didn't even relies when we got to our stop. Luckily, there was a loud, automated voice that announced that we were arriving at the Empire State Building. Jasper and I jumped off and ran off the train. When we got back to street level, there it was, the Empire State Building. Time for our reenactment!

Jasper and I took the express elevator all the way to the top. They have REALLY bad elevator music. It was the longest 5 minutes of my life. Finally we reached the top. They had big windows and you had a great view of the city. We snuck into a service door that we assumed lead to the top. We climbed up the numerous stairs. There was a hatch above on the ceiling that said "restricted access" so of course we opened it and sure enough, there we were, on top of the Empire State Building.

I turned to Jasper and asked,

"Ok, now that we're up here, what so you want to do?"

Jasper grinned evilly and started to climb the metal antennae that is on the very top of the building and I followed suit.

"Hello New York City" I called in my booming voice. People on the street noticed and were looking up and pointing. Jasper and I spent 15 minutes on top shouting random things. We even attracted two TV stations. Then are fun was cut short when a police man opened the hatch and busted us.

"You boys are going to have to get down from there!"

"Yes sir!" we shouted.

Once we got down. The police man looked at us and shook his head disapprovingly.

"You Hooligans have got yourselves in a heap of trouble. You're going to have to come downtown with me."

Jasper and I fallowed him meekly. I was already planning on how to explain this to Rose. She was going to be TICKED. We got handcuffed and put in the back of the police car.

"Jasper, you call Carlisle, I'll call Rose, Okay?" I whispered.

"Got it." He whispered back.

The police man was none the wiser because that conversation took less than a second and was too soft and too low pitched for him to hear. Ah, the beauty of being a vampire.

When we got to the jail they gave us our one free phone call. I called Rose apprehensively knowing how mad she'll be at me for getting arrested again. On the first ring she picked up.

"Emmett, why does my cell phone say I am getting a call from the New York City Police department?" Asked a very angry Rosalie.

"Well you see, Jas-"

"I don't even WANT to hear it." Rosalie cut me off. "Ask someone else to bail you out of jail!"

"I knew you'd say that. Jasper is on the phone with Carlisle." I heard Rose growl and then she hung up.

25 minutes later Carlisle came to bail us out of jail, again. He bribed the police main to let us off without having to come back for a trial and stuff like that. That was probably illegal, but what police man could resist ownership rights to their own donut store and free donuts for 10 years?

**Bella's POV:**

I stumbled back to my hotel room at 3:30. My ankle was killing me and I couldn't walk any longer. When I opened the door I found a very angry Edward looking back at me.

"Um, sorry?"

"I can't believe you sprained your ankle and then continued to shop for another 4 hours!" he sighed with his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Do you want to have Carlisle fix me up?'

"Yes, let me call him."

**Edward's POV:**

I dialed Carlisle's number and he picked up almost right away.

"Carlisle, Bella sprained her ankle and then walked on it for 4 hours. Can you come and patch her up?"

"Yeah, I'll be there in a half an hour. I have to bail your brother's out of jail again."

"What did they do this time?"

"I don't know and I don't think I want to." With that he hung up.

I sighed and shut the phone. Then I ran out to the hallway and got some ice for Bella's ankle from the ice machines.

When I got back Bella asked,

"So who did what this time?"

"The usual, Emmett and Jasper got arrested again. Probably something stupid that was Emmett's idea."

Bella laughed. I spent the next 20 minutes telling her of Emmett's and Jasper's other misdeeds and then Carlisle arrived with his black medical bag in hand. It took him about 2 seconds to put a brace on Bella's foot.

"There that should do it."

"Thanks Carlisle, its feeling better already."

**A/N: I've decided that I WILL do a sequel. So keep any ideas coming. I'm glad for any suggestions. :D**

**Reviews are greatly appreciated! **


	5. Chapter 5 In which a lot of things happe

**A/N: I am on a roll! 3 days in a row! There will be lots of POV changes in this chapter because basically 3 things are happening at once. Also events will not always be chronologically; I might have to skip backwards in time. Sorry if it confuse anyone! I will but a ruff estimate of what time it is and where the action is happening. I have a poll up on my profile to decide what show to put Alice and maybe Rosalie. So go vote! **

**Disclaimer: Again, I do not own twilight or What Not to Wear. (Still don't know why I bother to write these)**

**Chapter 5**

**In which a lot of things happen.**

**Alice POV: 2 AM Cullen's Hotel, Rose's room**

"Alice, We need a battle plan." Rosalie said. "Crazy Frank followed me around ALL day yesterday. It was gross! He kept drooling all over everything."

"Hmm…What could we do to get rid of this stalker" I wondered.

"Do you have the list with you?" Rose asked. We had made a list with different ways to set rid of stalkers about 27 years ago.

"No, but having a perfect memory comes in handy."

"Good point, why did we write it down to begin with?"

"I don't know Rose."

"So, we could move. I remember that being the first thing on the list."

"Rose, we have to stay in Forks till after Bella and Edward's wedding."

"Right, he stole our address, I don't know if I could handle another month and a half of him." Rose said. "Next was to fake your own death, right?"

"Yeah, but I don't foresee that working."

"Number three was –"

I cut Rosalie off. I can't _believe_ that I didn't think of this earlier.

"Rose, I had a vision of what we are going to do."

"Hit me Alice."

"We are going to _pretend_ that you are a vampire."

"Why didn't we think of this earlier?"

"That's exactly what I want to know."

**Bella's POV: 7:30AM, Presidential Suite, Embassy Suites**

I woke up to the shrieking hotel alarm. This was the third day in a row that I have had to get up WAY to early. It was 7:30. I quickly got ready. I was going to have to shop extra long today to make up for going home early yesterday and I was NOT looking forward to it. I was going to have to shop with Stacy and Clinton today and some how I had a feeling it would be like shopping with Alice and Rosalie. Thankfully, my ankle was feeling better thanks to Carlisle's medical expertise and because of the ice Edward had brought.

At 8 o'clock I got a call from the front desk telling me that my limo was here. I hobbled over to the elevator and I was down stairs in less than 3 minutes.

**Emmett's POV: 9AM the Cullen's Hotel, Rose and Emmett's room.**

"Alice!" I whined. "There's is nothing I can do. Carlisle said nothing that would get me arrested again and that wipes out my whole agenda."

"I know, that's why I got you this."She held out a pair of tights and a leotard. They both looked impossibly small.

"um, Alice are you sure that will fit."

'Em, it was the biggest size they had."

"Okay then, what exactly do you want me to do with them." I said why hold them at arms length.

"Wear them of course!" she said like it was obvious. There was no way that Alice would get me into tights. "Carlisle thinks that it will be a fitting punishment. You and Jasper are going to spend the day at the New York City ballet. Anyways, I want to see if you remember anything from those Ballet classes that I made you, Jasper and Edward take in '97."

I groaned. Alice mentioning 1997 did not stir up fond memories. Jasper, Edward and I had lost a bet to Alice and she made us take ballet classes for a year. Now she was making us do that again! I sighed and went to change into the tights and leotard.

**Bella's POV: 9:00 AM - a store in New York City**

I got out of the car and walked up o the store. It was by far the biggest store yet. I had gone to the Macy's in New York City. There was even a sign that said 'World's Biggest Department Store.'

When I walked in, I couldn't help but gawk like a dorky tourist, it was 10 stories! I didn't know there was enough stuff that a store could have that would fill 10 stories. I walked into the handbags and accessories department. They had purses that were several hundred dollars just sitting out on displays. In Port Angles, any thing that was over 100 was locked in glass cases. Here they were just sitting out. I assumed that there were security tags galore on _those _purses, which is why they were just sitting out.

I decided that since I still had more than 4,000 I would spurge a little and but one of these uber-expensive purses. It was _definitely_ something that I would not normally do but having this much money to spend was getting to me. I remembered that once I married Edward and therefore a Cullen, I would always have that much money to spend. They idea almost caused me to faint. I had visions of endless hours of shopping with Alice and Rosalie. Hopefully when I was a vampire I would have a power to persuade people to do things, like not take me shopping. Unfortunately, persuasion had never been one of my strong suits.

I bought one of the expensive purses. It was a Kate Spade purse. Well really it was a clutch. It was black satin and had a satin rose on the front. **(Picture on profile)** It matched a dress that I had gotten yesterday and has absolutely beautiful. On the down side, it cost almost 300 dollars.

I rode the elevator up to the third floor to the women's department. I was having better luck finding the kinds of tops that the rules said I should be getting in the Women's rather than the juniors. When I was flipping through a rack of shirts I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around expecting it was Alice coming to annoy me. It wasn't, it was Stacy and Clinton. When I saw them I jumped. They scared me!

"Hey Bella!" Stacy said.

"Now, we were watching your footage from yesterday. And we saw that you did a great job following the rules."Clinton said.

"But no pants?"Stacy asked.

"I thought pants would be a little difficult to try on with a sprained ankle."

"Oh" they laughed.

"Is it better now?" Stacy asked.

"Yeah, I put some ice and a brace on it."

"Good, because we are going to do a lot of walking today."

**Emmett's POV:**

Jasper and I sat on the train; we were on our way to our place of torture, The New York City Ballet. We were to spend all day there! As a punishment and a way to get us out of their hair, Alice and Rose really killed two birds with one stone.

We got off the train and walked into the large building. Alice said that we were to go to room 236. We walked up the stairs to the second floor. We walked down the non-descript hallway to room 236. We opened the door and walked into a large class room.

It was mirrored on all sides and had a wooden bar running along two sides of it. 10 other guys were already standing at the barre. A term I had remembered vaguely from the year of horror, 1997.

A very short old lady with black hair tied into a tight bun glared at us.

"You're late boys." She said disapprovingly.

"Um, sorry." I answered.

"Don't 'um' me young man!" I think I herd some of the guys already at the barre snicker but the old lady glared at them for a second and they shut up.

"We were told to tell you that Alice Cullen sent us." Jasper spoke up.

"Oh, it's you hooligans who climbed to the top of the Empire State Building." More snickers that were abruptly stopped by a glare. "Go join the others at he barre."

We did as we were told. She showed a combination and then turned on the music. I wasn't paying attention and was totally lost. I tried to follow the guy in front of me but it was too complicated. The lady shut off the music and walked over to me.

"Mr. Cullen, were you paying attention?" she said fiercely. I was a little afraid of her even though she only came up to my elbow.

"No, ma'am" I said meekly.

"Well then I'll show it again, so you'd better pay attention this time." I carefully followed along as she showed it this time. She started the music again and I started the combination.

"Posture Mr. Cullen, Turn out!" she nearly shouted at me. She has watching my feet wit close scrutiny. It was going to be a long day.

**Alice POV: 10 AM Cullen's hotel, Alice's room**

I took the phone book out of the drawer of the night stand. I looked up 'costumes' in the yellow pages. It was time for phase one of our stalker removal plan. I dialed the number of the first costume store listed.

"Hello, A-Z costumes. Every costume for every need." Said a perky girl's voice on the other line.

"Hi, do you have a women's vampire costume."

"Yes in fact we do. Would you like a description?"

"Sure"

"Okay, it is an 18th century style dress in burgundy, with a floor-length black cape and various accessories including fangs."

"That will be perfect! When can I pick it up?"

"Whenever you want."

"Thanks, I'll be there soon."

"Thank you!"

I hung up. The costume was perfect! Ha, that loser would fall for our "charade" instantly. I called a taxi and told the cabbie the address of the costume shop. I was there in 20 minutes. I picked up the costume and a tube of fake blood. I was going to be Rose's "victim" so I thought we should make it seem realistic. In another 20 minutes I was back in my hotel room.

"Here Rose, try the costume on." She did and by some miracle it fit perfectly. When she put on the fake fangs, she looked just like your stereotypical vampire. This was going to be the best way of getting rid of a stalker ever!

**A/N: okay I'm skipping ahead to a lot later now, nothing exciting happens so here is a quick synopsis. Rosalie and Alice plot, Emmett and Jasper Are subjected to more torture, Bella shops a lot and Edward follows her around wincing when ever she trips.**

**Alice POV: 5:00 random store in New York **

Yes! Our plan worked exactly as it should have. Crazy Frank was now following me hoping to find Rosalie again. As I was leaving the store I turned down an alleyway pretending I was possessed by something. Crazy Frank followed just as planned. Humans were so predictable!

Rosalie stepped out of the shadows wearing the vampire costume. In the cliché of all vampire movies she slowly walked to me and said in a heavy accent,

"I vant to suck your blood!"

I faked screamed and tried to run away. Rosalie fake caught me and pretended to bite my neck. I squeezed the fake blood all over my neck so that it looked like she actually bit me. Then I fell limp like I was dead and Rosalie looked up at Crazy Frank and he screamed like a little girl and ran away.

Rosalie and I burst into hysterics. We high fived and wiped the wake blood off. Rosalie changed and we went back to being your non- stereotypical vampires.

**Bella's POV: 7:00 PM What Not to Wear Studio**

I plopped down in the hair stylist's chair and tried to rub the indentations that that my many bags had left in my arms. I had been shopping ALL day. I was so tired! I had bought so much I didn't remember half my purchases. I probably tried on a thousand different clothing items today! The hairstylist, Nick was his name I think, walked into where I was sitting.

"Hello Bella, Long day shopping?"

"You have no idea."

"Well let's talk about your hair. Are you attached to this length?"

"Not really but I'd like to keep it on the long side."

"Okay, what about color?

"I'd like to keep it brown; highlights wouldn't be all bad but nothing to drastic."

"Okay, I will do what I can."

**45 minutes later:**

"Okay do you want to see your hair now?"

I was a little worried about what he might have done to it but I nodded any ways. He spun the chair around,

"This is the new you Bella."

I gasped, I looked beautiful! My hair was a shorter now, a little longer than shoulder length, and had side swept bangs. It was layered and fell in soft waves that framed my face.

"Wow!" was all I could manage.

"Do you like it?"

"I look, beautiful! I can't believe it, I've never knew I could look this good! Thank you!"

"Just doing my job"

Then he left and Carmindy **(yes that is how you spell her name, I checked on the website.)** came.

"Hi Bella!"

"Hello"

"Now I have to tell you what a beautiful complexion you have."

I touched my face, I definitely hadn't noticed before.

"Thank you."

"Now Bella do you regularly wear make up?"

"Not really, maybe some mascara or a little eye shadow."

"Well I'm going to give you a 5 minute face that you can do in a snap." She promised. "Now I'm going to start with a spray foundation. It's really light but will last all day and still let your natural complexion shine through."

She sprayed some foundation onto a sponge and swiped it across my face.

"Now this will just even out you skin tone but will still let your skin breath. Now I'm going to brush own some dark brown mascara. You don't want to use black; it's too harsh for your light skin tone." She put one the mascara and then picked up a make-up compact and a big fluffy brush.

"This is some bronzer to put a healthy sun-kissed glow on your face. You don't want to go over board with it or you'll end up looking like an umpa-lumpa. Now I'm going to but a little crème blush on your cheeks. Next some bronze metallic eye shadow. Again, not too much, just a little. Then, a shimmery light pink to highlight your brow and the inside corner of your eye. And finally, some sheer pink lip gloss. Then you're done! You think you can do that?"

"Wow!" I was all I could manage again. I looked almost pretty enough to pass for a vampire. "I think I can do this."

"I'm glad!" she gave me a hug. "Your fiancé is a lucky man, you look beautiful." I spent another 5 minutes staring in the mirror at myself. I did look beautiful. I looked like I _belonged _at Edward's side. I stayed there just staring at my reflection until someone tapped me on the shoulder and told me that they were going to film the part when I model my new look to Stacy and Clinton. I was told to put on casual clothes. I dug through my numerous bags and found an outfit that might even be Alice approved. Dark wash straight leg wide jeans, a V-neck lavender shirt with a white cami with lace and beading detailing and a dark brown fitted jacket. I walked out to where Stacy and Clinton were standing in front of a full length mirror.

"Come on out Bella!" the shouted together.

"Wow, look at yourself!" Stacy said, pulling me in front of the mirror. "This doesn't say 'boring' this says confident, pretty chick!"

"These clothes work for you. They show off your body great!" Clinton said.

"Now go try something else on a little more formal."

I put on a light brown A-line skirt that had white flowers embroidered on it a light green baby doll shirt and a very cute pair of ballet flats. I walked back out,

"Now that's what we're talking about!" Clinton said.

"You look so beautiful in this. Now this is something that to wear on a date." Stacy said. "You have to admit that this is a much better look than jeans and a t-shirt."

"Yes I feel so much more pretty in this."

And let me say, your hair and make up are amazing, with this outfit on you don't even look like the same person. You're a new and improved Bella."

If only she knew how new and improved I would be after my change, she would say this was nothing, but she was right I am the new and improved Bella.


	6. Chapter 6 In which everyone has a happy

**A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update again. I've been really busy and haven't found a minute to sit down and type. I've also had some trouble figuring out what exactly will happen in this chapter. I still haven't figured out exactly what will happen and so I'll just have to see what happens. **

**Disclaimer: Umm… I still don't own twilight or what not to wear and I'm running out of ideas for creative disclaimers. Maybe I should buy the rights to twilight then I wouldn't have to write these anymore (if I had that much money).**

**Chapter 6**

**In which everyone has a happy ending.**

**Bella's POV: **

I awoke once more to the shrill beeping of the hotel alarm. 5:30 AM! Ugh! I would not miss sleeping! No more alarm clocks brutally waking me up too early! I packed all of my new clothes into the suitcase. I had so much stuff that I could barely close it. My flight back home to Seattle was scheduled to leave at 10 o'clock, so I checked out of my suite and left the hotel at 6 so that I would have plenty of time to get though security. Luckily, we were heading away from the city instead of towards it so there was very little traffic. I arrived at the air port and got out my bags. I walked into the airport and followed the large signs leading to the check in desk. I checked my bag and got some odd looks for its large size. The only carry-on that I had was my purse so I went through security very quickly.

Just by my luck, my gate was the furthest from security. It was at least a mile! If not more! I had almost an hour so I could walk slowly. I bought a muffin on my way for breakfast and a new book for the plane ride. It was 6 hours; I had to have something to do.

**6 and a half hours later (I'm sure you don't want to hear about Bella on a plane for 6 hours)**

I arrived at the Seattle airport at 2:00 PM **(time change, Seattle is 4 hours behind of New York)**. There was _another_ limo waiting for me. I wondered whether it was the TV's shows doing or Edward's. I had gotten used to being toted around in a limo and I would miss it. I would defiantly have to get one.

The limo drove me to a hotel in downtown Seattle. I checked into a room that I got to get ready for my debut. I put on make up the way that Carmindy had told me to. I put on the dress that I had gotten the first day. It was black satin knee length halter dress with a pattern of pink flowers around the bottom **(sorry, no pic, it is based on a dress I actually own but I couldn't find a pic)**. I but on a pair of pink heels that were the same colors as the flowers and were only an inch high. After the incident in the shoe store, I did not feel safe in any thing over about 2 inches. I put on some jewelry and grabbed my clutch that I got at Macy's. I looked at my self in the mirror one last time and walked to the elevator. I was to go to the top floor where there was some sort of nightclub. Everyone was waiting for me up there.

I got to the right place, I opened the door and did a very un-Bella-like spin. Everybody else started clapping. I saw all the Cullen's of course, Charlie, Angela, Ben, Jessica, Mike** (gag!), **and some other people from school. I saw Edward, I wanted to run and hug him and almost did, but I noticed the three stairs separating me from Edward.

"Common Bella!" I told myself. "It's just three little stairs. You can do it. Even though you are wearing heels."

One step, two steps,

"AHHH!" I screamed my heel had caught on the stair and I was rapidly falling to the ground when an ice cold arm caught me. I looked up and smiled, it was Edward of course.

"Bella, what am I going to do with you?" he asked.

I stood up and whispered in his ear,

"You are going to change me so that I will be inhumanely graceful and walk across a flat surface without tripping"

He laughed quietly and said,

"Not until after the wedding Love, Alice would kill me if she didn't get to plan our wedding."

I sighed, he was right.

"You look beautiful Bella."

"No I don't, but I _could_**."**

"Bella." He said warningly. I just sighed and gave him a light kiss.

I walked over to Alice.

"Alice I almost forgive you, but that doesn't mean I won't get revenge."

Alice laughed,

"I'd like to see you try. I'll see anything you come up with" she said.

"I'll find a way Alice, you can count on that."

Charlie came up to me and gave me a gruff hug.

"You look so grown up Bells, if I didn't know it was you, I wouldn't recognize you."

"Thanks dad."

Angela and Ben walked up behind me. Angela gave me a tight hug while Ben stood awkwardly to the side, unsure of what to do.

"Bella you look _amazing_!" Angela squealed.

"Err, you look great." Ben said nervously.

"Thanks guys!"

For the next ten minutes I was caught in a whirlwind of congratulations and bone breaking hugs. Then the doors to the room flew open again. Great the pack had decided to pay us a visit. All of the Cullen's immediately adopted a much more protective stance, as much as they could with humans in the room. I was sure that much was being said in ones and speeds that were undecipherable to human ears. Edward was in front of me now and I could almost hear the growls coming from him.

Jake was the first one to speak up.

"Chill, we didn't come to pick a fight."

"Then what are you here for." Edward asked menacingly.

"We just wanted to see Bella." Jake said. "And to tell you that we will make an exception to the treaty for Bella. We see that she couldn't live without you and joining you leeches will be the best thing for her."

Of course all of this wasn't said loud enough for any humans to hear.

"Well then will you guys be staying?" Carlisle asked.

"No, we just came to tell you about our decision. Anyways, this place _reeks_!"

They left as quickly as they came, leaving those that where out of the loop clueless.

"What was that all about?" Charlie asked me.

"Nothing, they just needed to tell the Cullen's and me something."

"Oh, okay then. It just seemed a little odd."

"No it was no big deal, really."

The rest of the night passed in no time, with lots of laughter and chatter. Around 10:30, everyone started to leave. I went home with Edward in the Volvo. About half way home, I drifted off to sleep. We got home and Edward woke me up.

"You're home love, you need to get up."

I yawned. We where home already? It seems like a just got in the car 5 minutes ago. Edward picked me up bridal-style and carried me upstairs to my bed. We gently laid me down and pulled the covers up around me.

"I love you Edward." I mumbled sleepily.

"I do to Love, I do to."

Then I drifted back to sleep with the lovely notes of my lullaby softly being hummed by the love of my life.

**EPILOUGE**

**Bella's POV: 3 months later!**

I sat down on the couch. My show of What Not to Wear was airing tonight. It would be odd to see myself as a human again. I had been changed right on schedule and was now a big bad newborn. I was of course super strong and had beaten Emmett at arm wrestling more times than he cared to admit. My powers were very cool. I could amplify other vampire's powers or block them from affecting me or others, kind of like I had my own personal force field. But coolest of all, once I amplified a vampire's power, I could use that vampire's power. It was very awesome. Depending on how many vampires I met, I could have an unlimited amount of different vampires.

All of us had congregated in the living room of the Cullen's Alaska house. The show was set to start in ten more minutes.

"Hey Emmett, while were waiting, do you want to have an arm wrestling match?" I teased.

"No thanks Bells, I've suffered enough shame for one eternal lifetime." He answered. "Anyways, once your newborn-ness has worn off, I'll cream you."

"Sure you will." I said sarcastically. Actually, no matter how much bravado I put on, I wouldn't be able to beat Emmett once my super-super powers wore off.

"Oooo, it's starting! Every body be quiet." Alice squealed.

The show started but I couldn't watch, it was so surreal seeing yourself on TV and hearing your own voice. It gave me the chills. Especially with my enhanced hearing and sight I could hear every fluctuation of tone and every detail of my body. The 72 inch hi-def plasma TV and expensive sound system didn't help either. Once I was a Cullen and learned how much money they did have, I near about died, again. No wonder Alice and Rosalie could shop everyday and buy more clothes than any person could possibly need in their lifetime. The whole time that we have been in Alaska I had not seen them yet wear the same item of clothing twice and they came home with more and more clothes every day. Of course they longed to drag me along with them; Carlisle wouldn't let them until he was sure I would have enough control. They had to be content with buying stuff for me and forcing me to wear it. They made me change outfits several times a day until I thertened to burn their closets while they were shopping. Of course that brought an immediate stop to them using me as their personal life size Barbie doll.

I looked up at the TV and saw myself. It was odd to see my human self no that I was finally used to my super beautiful, incredibly perfect self. I finally saw how fragile and weak I must have looked to the Cullen's.

We watched the rest of show. It was so weird seeing a miniature you in the TV. The whole time Edward was snickering under his breath. I smacked his arm.

"Ouch Bella! That hurt!" he yelped.

I smiled evilly,

"I guess I don't know my own strength." I lied innocently. "What were you laughing about dear husband of mine?"

"I was just remembering all the times that you tripped an fell in New York."

"Damn perfect memory!" I muttered.

Edward laughed again, so I smacked him again on the arm which effectively shut him up. Once the show was over, Alice and Rosalie started to talk about Crazy Frank and their shopping excursions in New York. Then Rosalie asked Emmett,

"So Emmett, what _did_ you do to get arrested in New York?"

"Well you see, Jasper and I were bored and we kind of climbed the Empire State building."

Everyone started to burst out laughing except for Rosalie, who sighed and said,

"I wish I hadn't asked."

**A/N: I hope you liked it! **

**If you haven't voted yet, please do! Last time I checked, the options that had been chosen already had only one vote each, rendering the poll useless. **

**So go vote!!**

**And big thanks to whoever left an anonymous review pointing out my mistake in time zones concerning when Bella's flight would actually get in. I've changed it, I checked and am pretty sure that i have the right time that bella's flight would get in. (if anyone has ever flown on a non****stop flight from New York city to seattle and left at 10 AM please correct me if i'm wrong, but you would have gotten in arround 2 PM.)**


	7. Author's Note

**Hey this is just an author's note. **

**I just wanted to let everyone know that I WILL for sure be doing a sequel. I am looking for a beta for this one as it will be a lot longer. If you're interested, PM me or leave a review.**

**Right now Survivor is in the lead for what TV show to put Alice on. However, only 13 people have voted for their choice. If you haven't voted yet, please go and do so. I want as many people's opinions as possible.**

**I've also posted another story called Worst Case Scenario Breaking Dawn. It is a series of one shots from BD that will possibly have some sort of plotline holding them together. The twist is that I'm using the quotes from BD posted on Stephenie's website. If you're interested, go check it out.**

**-Sara-**


	8. Author's Note 2

**A/N: Hey everybody! Sorry I totally disappeared for like 4 weeks. I was computer-less and therefore couldn't update. **

**So the top two choices (Survivor and Wife Swap) tied. To break the tie, I chose Wife Swap. I will have to watch a couple of episodes of Wife Swap and then I will start writing. I should post the sequel in 1-2 weeks. **

**I am still looking for a beta for this story if anyone is interested. **

**Thanks to everyone who read this story!!**


	9. Author's Note 3

**A/N: Hey there! I know, I know, it's been awhile. I said a week or two till the sequel, and it's been, well, a long time. I'm so sorry about that. I have been super busy with school and homework and dance and literally haven't had a spare second. I don't function very well on 8 hours of sleep, so my weekends have been devoted to catching up on sleep.**

**Again I'm really sorry. I will try my hardest to get the sequel up ASAP, hopefully by this weekend.**


	10. Sequel Announcement!

**A/N: hey! The autor's note is actually important this time.**

**The sequel has been posted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**It is titled, Wife Swap: Cullen's vs. Carter's. Please go read it! **

**Thanks!**

**-Sara**


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